Bitch-
(a) Name for a lady dog;
(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.
Blind Retrieve-When you can't see the toy under the furniture.
CGC-Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}
Coat-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
Crabbing-What you do when the judge doesn't like way your dog moves.
Dam-
(a) lady dog with children;
(b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.
Distemper-Shown by those hot-headed competitors.
Dog-To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.
Double Bind-Finding two toys under the furniture.
Elbow-Method of getting to ringside when late.
Expression-"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.
Fancier-Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
Feathering-What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.
FlyBall-Neutering.
Force Fetch-Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches at the carpet until you're forced to "fetch" it.
Front-Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.
Guard Hair-An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.
Heel-
(a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;
(b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.
Height-As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by
AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.
Hock-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
Kennel-Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you.
Litter-Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.
Mask-What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
Multi-Generational Pedigree-Something you should have read first.
Muzzle-What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition
what they overheard you call him last night.
Noseprints-Cute marks left all over your French doors.
Outcrossing-What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.
Overshot-Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.
Pedigree-Dog food with lots of great coupons.
Points-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
Puppies-Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)
Qualifying Score-Justifying the 170.5 you got in obedience today.
